Saturday, May 7, 2011

Your partner’s sexuality


Sexual expression plays a huge role in relationships. It is way for people to show their lovers what they feel about them through passionate and intimate ways. As wonderful as sexuality can be, it is often misunderstood, which is why the average couple faces sexual conflicts and challenges at some point during their relationship. This is no way is a generalization of men and women, but the truth is, men and women handle their sexuality differently- on an average. If couples spend some time to truly learn and understand their partner’s sexuality, they can build a happier and healthier sex life together, instead of facing the conflicts that stall their relationship from blossoming further.

Okay, so you now know that according for your sex life to improve, you need to understand your partner’s sexuality…but where do you start? Good question, but there is no particular area to start. You can start at any angle you wish, as long as you are learning something about your partner’s sexual behaviour. Of course, the most advisable suggestion would be communication, for every counselling psychologist believes that all couple conflicts exist because of poor communication that needs to be improved. This may be true, but it is a very general suggestion- too general for you to understand where to start. You see, this is because you do not know what communication to improve. Many couples may have wonderful communication between each other and get along great, except for when it comes to making love. How can this be if you communicate so well? The answer is very simple, yet most people would not think of it. In fact, the average person sees communication as a general skill that works for all areas of life, which is why most couple gets confused when their sex life starts to lack. The answer is: You need to improve your Sexual Communication.

Fine, that sounds simple enough. So all you have to do is talk about your sex life with your lover to clear any confusion? Well, yes- talking about what is going on in your bedroom certainly helps you both understand what is going on in each others minds, but that is not the entire solution. Besides talking about it, you have got to do some research and work on your own. This means you need to make an effort to study your partner’s sexuality by learning what triggers good and bad sexual responses. This is where it can get challenging because men and women view sex differently. Though men have times they are not “in the mood” due to other things going on in their life, they usually can tune out everything when it comes to having a lovemaking session with their partner. In fact, for many men, sex is great way to help them feel better and relax- like a stress reducer. For women however, sex is a more fragile subject and involves a lot of emotion. If a woman is having a bad day or has a million things going on in her mind, it distracts her from getting involved in good sexual activity. Men take this offensively, thinking that the reason their woman does not want to have sex or is not that into it, is because she is no longer as turned on by him, or even being selfish- when this is most of the time not true. Women need to be approached in certain ways that will make them feel relaxed, safe and ready to have sex. Men too have their own preferences of ways to be approached.

There are many methods you can use to better understand your partner’s sexuality and improve your sex life. Begin by trying something different that you do not usually do, but also try combining that with a behaviour you use often, so that your partner can still feel familiar and comfortable. Good ideas that have succeeded are giving your partner a full body massage to help them relax and open up, setting up a sexy and romantic scene in the bedroom (example: candlelight, sexy music, sexy food like chocolate strawberries, body oils and butters, champagne, etc.), having an indoor picnic at home, taking a bath and scrubbing your lovers body, taking your lover out on a date and then staying in a nice hotel for the night… and so on. One of the main reasons sex conflicts occur eventually during a relationship, is due to the fact that the sex and romance fell into “routine” or a comfort zone. To keep a sexual relationship exciting, you must take different routes and try new things and keep it creative. Knowing what works best when it comes to awakening your lover’s sexual cravings, will take time and effort, not to mention a good deal of exploration. Not that this would actually feel like work, for exploring new areas and new routines tend to always spice up a relationship and draw the two of you together. You and your partner will not only be involved in more lovemaking sessions together, but will also discover new things about each other and your relationship, which will open new doors to better communication, new ideas, as well as learning more do’s and don’ts for your relationship.

Understanding your partner’s sexuality is not as hard as you may think. All it requires is the will and patience to observe and pay attention to what makes him or her tick and respond to you in the way you find most appealing. While you are learning and using new ideas to enhance your sexual side of your relationship, you and your partner will automatically strengthen your bond, love, respect and understanding towards one another, which is what being in a relationship, is all about. Remember, when trying to improve a sexual relationship, you must look at things from two points of views: yours and your partners. As long as you make the best effort to this, plus good communication on both your parts, your relationship will be maintained in the most clear and satisfying form.

Better Sex Tips for Women


A good amount of pleasurable sexual act is undeniably one of the most important components which helps to build and maintain a successful and rewarding relationship. In most cases, good sex speaks louder than words when it comes down to love and intimacy between both partners.

Both partners are equally responsible for giving the others a total sexual pleasure. It is very easy sometimes for a woman to think it is her man's responsibility to give her sexual pleasure and to make her come. From time to time, certain women would also have the idea that they should not be too wild in bed, as this might give their partner a sense of insecurity! This is a total myth and one which should be addressed immediately if she ever hopes to have a totally satisfying relationship!

Women sure can be charming by the way they present themselves and also by the way they dress up. But, men like women who are also great in bed. Men like women who take the initiative and are confident in their sexual act. Men like women who give them complete pleasure and satisfaction at the end of the sexual act and they themselves should feel satisfied with their partners.

It is often said that only when women have 7 times the pleasure as men that women can reach an orgasm. This is totally wrong! The truth is, a woman can have no orgasm but that does not mean she is not satisfied with the sexual experience. At the same time, a woman may have multiple orgasms. The ultimate aim for a woman would be to satisfy her partner and herself.

A woman should devise new ways to excite her man in the beginning and get him involved completely in the sexual act. She can also gift herself or her man sex videos. This is certainly going to turn both of them on. Sex videos are a great resource to learn the finer and more beautiful nuances of sex. Videos also help you learn different better sex positions so that sex does not become a monotonous act.

A better sex tips for women would be to get stimulated in the beginning. Performing sex just for the sake of doing it won’t bring in any enthusiasm and pleasure. The most important part is to be you throughout the whole sexual act.

Women should be as flexible as possible in the whole sexual experience. Try out different things to excite your partner. Like, tying a handkerchief around his eyes and then slowly running your fingers on his body or, you can write erotic stories and then narrate them to your partner in order to stimulate him and respond to your demands.

Communication, both verbal and sexual is another important aspect which help to improve your love life. Tell your partner how comfortable you feel in his arms and thank him for the great sexual experience. Tell him that you would like to take the fantastic journey as much as you can. This is sure going to build a stronger sexual bond between you and your partner.

You can also create an environment to excite your partner like lighting candles in the room, keeping the room dark, playing soft love songs which you both enjoy and so on.

At the end of the day, it is a matter of communication, both verbal and sexual, finding your respective hot buttons which is going to make your relationship works. Be selfless and live for the moment for each other.

By  Leah Holden